How did I get fat,
or how did I let myself get that fat, I hear so many people ask. Well it was many years of total abuse to my
mind and body.
It was not until I started to earn pocket money through a paper run that I would start trying the lollies, chips and the types of food that mum would not allow into the house.
My brother Brad was the guy that could eat everything; you also see he was the sporty type. On the weekends he was playing footy and I was at art classes or drama classes.
Exercise stopped the day I left year 10 at Marist Brothers Kogarah in 1979.
My first job during year 10 was with McDonalds, and then once leaving school I gained a position as in apprentice chef – surrounding myself around food was what I did best at that time.
As the years rolled along so did my weight, never really knowing what I weighed. I could only tell from my clothes – going from XL – 9XL in a period of 20 years.
During this time I was Party Artie – I had to go to all the parties, clubs, bars etc, etc, where my friends would have all the luck in meeting people – unlike myself, all I went home with was a packet of Tim Tams and a liter of milk. How could I find someone to love me – when I did not love myself.
Through all those years I thought I did, how was that – you see slowly I was killing myself now what’s there to love about that.
Cooking and eating was what I became best at. I would love to buy glossy Cook Books & have many dinner parties. If I had six mates coming for dinner I would have ate and drank myself silly during the food preparation, and once my guests had arrived I would eat and drink all over again. Going to bed alone and bloated was something I was getting familiar with.
Had I started to except that this was my life, my destiny – I think so !!!
My health started to suffer as I got bigger and bigger, my father went to god at the ago of 37 due to engina – so heart history was in the family, even knowing this did not change my attitude. I have constant heart checks and I can say at the moment my heart is great. Andrew my personal trainer says I have a big heart. I say it’s great to big body organ!!
In my mid 30’s I was diagnosed with type II Diabetes – how did that happen. I heard myself ask. “Now let me think”!!! I thought great I’m bound to lose weigh now cutting all the sugar from my diet and doing some exercise even if it was walking to the letter box. How wrong was I, I put on more weight, along the way hating myself for having to take a pill in the morning and again at night. I brought this on myself…. My Dr of many years has said to me lose weight and exercise and you will lose your type II Diabetes – even he could not get thought to me regarding my health. When I was feeling low in energy I would grabe a can of soft drink and think I was doing the right thing, WRONG!
My mother, whom I’m sure you all know I am very close with, but even she could not get it into my head about my weight. The fights we used to have about my diet would end up in tears – mum had excepted the fact that one day she would get that call that her beloved son had died from a hear attack. I look back now and think how I could have done that to someone I love. Mum used to take me shopping and I would have to hide things in my shopping trolley – is that normal? I don’t think so!
So there I was living alone – eating myself to an early grave, but still thinking I was fine. How the mind works in a fat person!
The excuses I make up to get out of exercise were endless, I found being a fat person we had an excuse for everything. I look back now and know I had no one else to blame except myself. We all have choices to make. It was me feeding me the junk – no one else. I used to walk pass the gym to go to the local pub and would see these beautiful people in the window and think to myself – why are they there, they don’t need to be there ! I understand why they go and do what they do – As I am that person now that loves going to the gym. See what a “Can Do Attitude” can do, it’s a great feeling.
The journey I have undertaken is a journey that anyone can do – not just about weight, it’s about lifestyle choices that we make. It’s what’s doing best for us. Stop and think about yourself for a change. I was for ever there for everyone and I was never there for myself. I am number one and always will be.
Today I’m not far from my goal weight. That WILL come, maintaining it will be my next challenge. My health has improved, I’m off my medication for type II Diabetics and I am feeling better and healthier every single day.
I exercise every day, It’s calories in – v – calories out. I dine out, it’s about moderation and I still enjoy a glass of wine.
The general public that come up to me and say what an inspiration I have been to them is all I need to know that I’m on the right track. I used to say I want to get looked at and not over looked. I can tell you one thing that I have changed and changed for the better.
If I can do this – SO CAN YOU !